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Welcome to The More than
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Just a Doctor Podcast.
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I’m your host,
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Lil Surprenant MD.
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I’m a life coach
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for physicians,
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a practicing
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hospitalist, a wife,
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a mom of two boys,
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a reader, a dancer,
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a dolphin enthusiast,
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and all the things
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just like me.
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You’re
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more than just a doctor.
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And that’s what we’re
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going to talk
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about each week.
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Doctor stuff
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regular life stuff
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and all the things
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that make life
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rich and interesting.
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I’m so glad you’re here.
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Let’s get started.
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Welcome, friends.
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This is episode
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number 23 of the More
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than Just a Doctor podcast.
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And I'm your host,
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Lil Surprenant.
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And today I'm talking about.
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Hey, doctor,
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why aren't you
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happy all the time?
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I was
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just visiting my
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dad a couple of weeks ago.
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He lives a couple
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of hours away,
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and he was asking me
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about my coaching business
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and he said,
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Hmm.
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He said,
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I wouldn't
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think doctors
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would have any problems.
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And I was like, What?
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So it got me to
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thinking about,
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of course,
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physicians have problems.
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And if you're a physician
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listening to this,
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I don't need to tell you
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people are burned out.
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They're overworked.
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The system
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has some issues
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these days,
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but that's really not
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what I'm talking about today.
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Today,
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I want to give you a concept
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that I find very useful.
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And it's this is the concept
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that life is
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actually supposed
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to be 50/50.
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Now, this comes
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putting it in.
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This capsule comes from book
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Brooke Castillo,
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Life Coach School,
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where I was trained
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and it's basically,
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you know,
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that our experiences in life
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are supposed to be a mix of
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half good, half bad, half
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full of pain and frustration
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and all the
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negative emotions,
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negative experiences
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and things, not going our way
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and half
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full of happy things.
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Now, of course, Doctor,
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this is not data
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50/50 is not a math concept.
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It's a shorthand.
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And how I really
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think about it.
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I do use the term
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50/50 for myself
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and for my clients.
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I find it very helpful
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to have that shortcut
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to say, Oh, this is a 50/50
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but what I really mean
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for it, for myself
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and for you all is
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life is supposed to be
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the entire range
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of experience.
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We are meant
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we are destined to experience
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very painful things.
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Sometimes
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loss, death of loved ones,
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humiliation, shame,
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disappointment.
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And we're meant
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to experience
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joy, laughter,
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love, connection.
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We're meant to have
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the range of experiences.
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So how how do I use
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the 50/50 concept
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to be helpful to me
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in my life?
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I really use it to bring
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bring myself back
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from the spiral of like,
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why is this happening? Why?
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Why am I not
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happy today or
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liking this Another way
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I think about
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it is not just
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50/50 of external
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events happening.
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I also like to think of it
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as 50/50.
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My thoughts about things
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like sometimes we think
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when we're into mindset work
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or self-development
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that we should be
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a little
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more like the Buddha
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than we are.
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And I think that is
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so not helpful.
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I think that's a killer
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of satisfaction.
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And so I like to use
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50/50 to even think about
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the thoughts about whatever
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everyday experiences
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are not supposed
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to be all sunshine and roses.
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Like I get my 50/50
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I get to be cranky
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about whatever the daily life
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messes are.
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I say mess
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because I'm thinking about
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like the messes
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I clean up after my kids
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or my spouse or myself,
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or the messes
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you might encounter at work.
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Like I don't
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always have to take
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the high road,
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make sunshine out of,
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you know what it’s
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not like
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I get to have 50/50 thoughts
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about things.
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And to me,
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that's very relaxing.
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So those are kind
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of the two ways
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that I use that
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term, 50/50 in my life.
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And with my clients.
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So I,
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I also
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think that the
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50/50, if used properly,
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so the way
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I'm talking about it in
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this instance
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is usually
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when things are in the -50,
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like reminding yourself
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like, Oh, I'm in the 50/50.
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And when I say that,
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I usually mean
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I'm in the -50.
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And so I'm using
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that sort of as an of course,
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like nothing has gone wrong.
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The other way to use
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the concept of 50/50
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is to gain appreciation
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when you're in the good 50.
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So this takes noticing
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and this is a recurring theme
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on this podcast,
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like being aware
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of what you're
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experiencing in your life
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and in your head.
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So when you have a -50/50
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experience,
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say the OR is totally
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running behind.
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Your case got delayed
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and you're going to be late
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for clinic.
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The case is more
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complicated, like,
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you know how things
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sort of stack some days
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and it feels
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like a total shit show.
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Right.
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That's where I'd be like,
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Yep, 50/50.
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But the other way to use
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it is then
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the next week,
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when you have a smooth day.
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Just a regular old.
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Like everything's going
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just fine.
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Like, you got your Starbucks,
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you got to round on
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everybody.
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And things were actually
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just moving along.
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You're just doing
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plain old work.
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Like, that's the good 50/50
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And noticing that
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the foil, the contrast
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from the other 50/50
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is way
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to increase the satisfaction
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in your regular life.
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So that's another way
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to use 50/50.
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Now, some people don't love
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the concept of 5050.
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My friend Jimmy Turner,
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who you may know
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from the Physician
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Philosopher podcast
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and he has several books
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and a coaching program.
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He's an awesome dude.
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He hates the concept of 50/50
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and his thought about it
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and I hope I'm
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saying this correctly,
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is that many physicians
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are in such distress.
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They're so burned out
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that 50/50
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seems like a pipe dream.
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They're in 90 negative
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and ten positive.
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So to say 50/50 to
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those folks is really,
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really feels terrible.
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So I understand that.
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I see physicians
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who are in distress
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and whose everyday
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lives feel really awful. And
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here's what
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I want to offer is
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if that's you
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if you if you feel like 50/50
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seems like a crazy
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pipe dream.
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Coaching can help with that.
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Therapy can help with that.
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Sometimes you need to change
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your circumstances.
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Change of job.
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Get out of a
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bad relationship.
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But
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things can get better
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than 90/10
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And if you need some help,
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I reach out to me via DM.
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We can have a conversation.
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But let’s aim for 50/50.
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All right, have a great day.
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Bye.
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Thanks so much
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for joining me today.
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If you like this episode,
00:08:25:07 - 00:08:26:11
you're going to love
00:08:26:11 - 00:08:28:12
working with me directly.
00:08:28:12 - 00:08:29:13
Sign up for email
00:08:29:13 - 00:08:30:16
updates from me
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in the show notes.
00:08:32:03 - 00:08:33:14
I'll send you a fun email
00:08:33:14 - 00:08:34:10
every week
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called Friday Favorites.
00:08:36:00 - 00:08:37:16
Everyone loves it.
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Or if you're ready
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to get started
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creating your rich
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and interesting life.
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Book a free consultation
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with me to explore
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working together one on one.
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I can't wait to meet you.
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You'll find these links
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and other resources
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in the show notes.
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See you next week.
